As a transgender woman (I was born male, but identity and cognition are both female), finding the right person adds a whole new dimension to digital dating. Since transitioning in 2014, I have not responded positively to people who have been nice to me because I have not mastered the skills to tell them we have “the same parts”.
For the past several years, Tinder has been my choice to enter online dating as a transgender woman, and now I’ve found a better trans dating app called Transdr.
As a transgender woman on online dating apps, I always make sure men realize I’m transgender, which is a good way can avoid wasting each other’s time. There are a lot of records and news show that when transgender women show their identity to men who find them attractive, they get hurt and sometimes even killed by men with transgender fears. So disclosing my identity at the beginning is also a way to protect myself from potential danger. When I click, leave a message, and browse the online dating apps. I have learned that there are at least three different types of men who are attracted to transgender people: those who are obsessed with trans women, those who are curious but cautious, and those who don’t read the profile at all. Unfortunately, these tags do not appear in their personal profiles.
Those people who treat trans women as fetish
I usually get messages from people who just want my body. They reckon me as a new, kinky and strange experience. These guys want to stay in less public places or only in their private places so they won’t be found to be with me. I’ve actually “dated” several such people. There was a man, when I left his apartment, examined the hallway of the apartment to make sure his neighbor didn’t see me leaving. And another man who tried to keep me out of contact with him on social media. He lied that he didn’t have an Instagram account, but immediately blocked me when I stumbled on it and liked a picture of him.
Those who can’t deal with that I’m a trans woman
After meeting many people who thought I was fetish, I began to spend my time with people who wanted to know me. These men find me attractive and they hesitate at first because I am transgender. But these guys are willing to go out with me in public, and we go to a movie or a favorite restaurant. In their eyes, I am more than just a new sexual experience, which makes me happy. One of them seemed to really like me. We had some happy time together and had sex during our trans date. But a month later, he suddenly told me he couldn’t be with me because I was a trans woman. He fears that his sexual orientation will change.
Those guys who don’t read the profile
Recently, I dated a tall and handsome guy. We usually meet in the evening and eat yogurt together in the beautiful sunset. Everything went well. At the end of the date, our first kiss took place naturally. Before going further, I made routine inquiries to make sure he knew I was transgender, nut he looked at me blankly. Then he started shouting that I never told him. I responded my Tinder account says I’m transgender. As a result, he didn’t read my material at all. At last he got out of the car, rubbed his mouth hardly, slammed the door and left. I sat in the car, completely stunned.